Alright we’re just 5 short days away from turning yet another year older and if you haven’t read my reflections from Day 7 and Day 6 yet, go read those first. For those of you that have known me since I was a little kid or even throughout high school, college and within the past 10 years have known that I’ve always danced to the beat of my own drum.
I was the girl who ONLY wanted to play with the boys, had a bowl cut, wouldn’t play volleyball because I refused to wear spandex, dated the bad boys, moved across the country to California 2 weeks after graduating college, moved to Houston without ever visiting the state of Texas, and have been in a relationship for almost 10 years where we have no immediate intentions to get married and plan on remaining kidless. I like to think if Oprah doesn’t have to be married & is without kids, then darn it, so can I.
That brings me to my latest reflection.
Day 5 : Be Unapologetic About Who You Are
Why the pictures of Dexie?
… because I unapologetically LOVE my dog as if it were my kid. For that matter, she is my kid. I miss her desperately when I leave, I tell her I love her 10 times a day & smother her with kisses endlessly. I’ve never had any desire to be a Mom of children. That underlying passion to be a Mom of humans just isn’t there for me. For those of you who have also made this decision, we’re on the same boat together when I say that it has come with a TON of scrutiny over the years.
I often hear …
“Ohhh, but you’d be such a good Mom.”
“Give it time, you’ll change your mind.”
“Being a Mom will be your greatest accomplishment.”
“Who’s going to take care of you when you get old?”
In my 20’s and even within the past few years I’ve always politely smiled and said something along the lines of “it just isn’t for me, but thank you.” I find it amazing how often people are willing to tell you how you should be living your life as if mine isn’t fulfilled until I’ve had kids. Can you imagine me telling you that “maybe you shouldn’t be having that 3rd kid after all.” No way, I would never say that! I respect everyone’s choices in how they live THEIR life and I do wish people would be more understanding that this is a decision of how I’ve chosen to live mine (unapologetically).
On that note, Let’s talk marriage.
I have been in a wonderful relationship for just shy of 10 years. Sean and I have openly talked about marriage and it’s something we’re not afraid of, but rather something we don’t feel is necessary to solidify our relationship. We’re in this because we want to be, not because I have a big ring on my finger or had an expensive wedding in front of all our friends and family. We live as if we are married. We own a house together, have joint finances and make life’s big decisions TOGETHER. We just don’t have the marriage certificate to make it official that I can call him my husband.
Let’s not even get into talking about what I should call him. Let’s just go with “boyfriend”.
This is another thing I unapologetically stand behind. Remember how I said earlier that I dance to the beat of my own drum? If it’s conventional to turn right, I’ll most often turn left. I can’t tell you how often someone asks me, “so when are you guys getting married already?” The answer is …. I don’t know if we ever will, but I’ll be sure to let you know.
The point of this whole reflection is just to be honest with who you are & don’t apologize to anyone because of it. There is no right and wrong way to live life (obviously don’t be a criminal) as long as you are happy and fulfilled. I frustrate a lot of people in my life with the decisions I make because they aren’t the status quo and that’s ok. I came up with excuses when I was younger, but now that I’m approaching my mid-30’s I’m owning the life I’ve put in front of me.
Keep Living a Stylized Life